As of a few days ago, I've been Vegan for one month! :) I'm proud of myself. No, it's not easy. It surely isn't convenient... especially living in the Dairy State. Mostly, I am proud because even with my faults, I am wanting to continue this lifestyle.
I have been thinking a lot about altering my "version" of Vegan however. There are many items that I miss and haven't been able to find replacements that are both tasty and veg friendly. Part of this may be do to the fact that I have lost my companion on this mission. Francisco has decided that being Vegan simply isn't for him. It makes me sad and makes me feel somewhat alone on this journey. I know the convenience factor is big for him and also the temptations that are around. Now I feel like I'll just be a burden to him when we go out to eat or when I cook.
I have gone through nightmare after nightmare with relationships, so I won't allow being Vegan to get in our way. He is without a doubt the only guy I've ever been with that I can call my best friend. He is my world. Part of me wants him to realize that I am doing this for health reasons and convenience doesn't matter to me. Plus I want someone to be there and help me with this, take the ride with me. I know he will always be supportive in anything that I do, but I want to do this together. Even if that means reverting to being a Vegetarian versus being a full blown Vegan, so be it. I don't think that will be good enough for him however. He eats meat... that's just who he is. Yes, people change, but in his culture I don't know if he will want to.
Looking the long term effects that dairy has on a females body is devastating. With higher risks of heart attacks, breast cancer, and all sorts of other nasty things, I have a hard time consuming some of the littlest amounts.
Maybe I am just ahead of my time. It's only a matter of the rest of the population becoming educated, before everyone else is a vegetarian. Perhaps I will be a trend setter? Haha. I don't know. At this point in time, I am hoping that when I relocate for work that it is to a veg-friendly location. I am just to the point that I am at a loss for words when I think about being on my own doing this. None of my friends are veg-heads or even understand why I am pursuing this life. Hell, I've even caught myself questioning it. I'm not on a mission to prove anyone wrong or even set an example. I am on a mission to be healthy.
That being said, it has been really hard at work as well. I am now in the kitchen and am handling proteins on a daily basis. From prepping chicken breasts to slicing 80 lbs of brisket, it has been extremely hard on me. For one, I love to cook and I am good at it. These are dishes that I used to make all the time. Two, a good chef tastes everything that they put out. I can't do that with about 90% of the items I am producing. And three, I am constantly having to explain my lifestyle to people who are some serious carnivores. It's getting old. Really old.
So that, plus Francisco not wanting to accompany me in being Vegan anymore... The stress is starting to get to me. I am crabby for no reason except being stressed out (which is stupid). I find myself being short with Francisco and I can't even tell you why. Maybe I am a little disappointed, but I certainly don't want to be upset about it! Ugh, so dumb. I attempt to keep my attitude in check with him and at work. It's hard to be around all these amazing aromas and not be crabby though! I know that it is all seasoning and not the actual meat that I'm smelling, but good Lord! If you could smell what I smell. It's like Iron Chef in that kitchen, I swear.
Let's hope this upcoming week is a bit easier. Obviously I need to speak with Francisco about what is going on and what I am feeling. I am pretty sure he has no idea how I feel. I know he has noticed my stress levels being high and also being tired from work, but that is no reason to be crabby toward him. He treats me like a goddess, and I am willing to do just about anything to make it right. :) After all, I love him.
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